Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
