I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
