I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Farmville is her only friend.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
