ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
