Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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