those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i came on her dog
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize