Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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