Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
