just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
How does it feel to date your dad?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
