Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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