You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
A+ Viking dick
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
