I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
