Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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