walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
