just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
