like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
