im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
