my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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