I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Ladies don't puke and tell
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
