he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
How external is "for external use only"?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
