Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
