arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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