Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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