omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
