Where did you get a picture of my penis
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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