they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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