Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
