I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
