I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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