There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
