So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
