i would punch a child for taco bell
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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