in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
