Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The adults are the big ones right?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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