I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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