do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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