no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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