The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
