I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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