My friends, they love my intelligence
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize