if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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