i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
