Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize