I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
