I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
