i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
