you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
