is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize