Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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