i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
PANTIES FOUND
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