I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
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