I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
