Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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