If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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