Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
