STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
