Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
