She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
