Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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