Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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