me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
