Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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