Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
