I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
