She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize